December 2023 Prayer Devotional Blog

My personal experience has taught me much about the freedom that comes with repentance. I have walked through seasons of living my own way, pursuing my own will and making decisions I knew were disobedient to God and against what I knew to be right. I realize now that I chose to be disobedient to fulfill my own selfish desires. In these seasons I sought to tuck and hide my sin away for reasons I don’t know that I will ever fully understand. But what I have come to recognize is that it was in those very hard and dark seasons when God met me in the pits of despair and heartbreak. He has shown a light on my path and given me wisdom and discernment to acknowledge the buried sin. He revealed where I have been disobedient to Him and lived my life according to my own will, instead of His. He brought me to my knees in tears of surrender so He could chisel and refine the hardest and most vulnerable parts of my heart. God has continued to pursue me in the deepest pain and despair and loves me unconditionally as He shows His truth in the messiness. No circumstance, no matter how bad or difficult, can diminish the love God has for us. It didn’t for me. I witnessed His love every single day, even when I knew I was not deserving of it. For example, my desire to marry unequally yoked led to more than 20 years of being led down a trail of heartbreak and ultimately divorce. During that time, God’s hand of provision and protection was over me, and the greatest blessing came out of it: my beautiful daughter. We can overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loves us (Romans 8:37). I can personally attest that I overwhelmingly conquered through and because of Him.

For those who walk with Jesus, there is nothing that can separate us from God. Yet our unrepentance can diminish the fullness of our relationship with Him and our relationships with other people. It is repentance from disobedience that will help transform us into Christ’s image (Romans 8:29), bringing healing and fullness back to these relationships. Ultimately there is no evil or deception in this world that is a match for the Lord. When we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior, there is nothing that can break our bond to Him (John 10:29). Nothing! God calls us to Him, and He knows our hearts and continues to knock at the door, pursuing us as a groom pursues his bride. When will we answer?

This is where the gentle chiseling and refining comes in. Consider God’s promise to Zion in Isaiah 49:16:

During a hard season in my life nine years ago this month, a dear prayerful friend of mine wrote me a letter. I want to share a little of it with you as an example of how God can use our brokenness, no matter what it is and turn it into something more beautiful than we could even imagine.

She wrote:

God is always mindful of the condition of His people. He knows our hearts and sees the walls we build, thinking we can hide our sin behind them. He wants us to come to Him with a humble heart, to let the walls of our heart be surrendered in repentance to the Lord. Acknowledging our sin to Him will bring deliverance and freedom that can only be found when we seek Him for our forgiveness.

There are many stones we use in these walls in our hearts: hurt, lies, deception, hardness, embarrassment, guilt, shame—the list is long and complicated. But in our repentance to God He rises with grace, mercy and forgiveness. We can then allow Him to chisel away each stone and watch it crumble and be shattered into a fine residue like dust. This dust can be used like the potter and the clay to reform us as He shapes us anew.

My teacup was once broken by the painful experience of divorce. I went through loss of identity, self-worth and value because of the choices I had made. But the teacup has now been given the ultimate make over! God the potter has had me in His hands through it all and His promises are just as real and true as they were when He first spoke them to me. Though the consequences of my choices were painful, I believed, trusted and knew that His perfect will for me had not diminished, even though I wandered away outside of what He intended for me. My repentance and surrender made way for God to move in my life with His perfect will and timing.

While your choices may not have written the exact same story that mine did, if you have walked through a season of repentance, you know that you emerge with an even better story. We leave such seasons able to share that God has been with us, even in the moments that we were totally unaware of His presence. If you are currently living in a season of repentance, know that the Lord your God loves you so. He both weeps with you and brings joy in the morning. Joy and freedom will be yours as you walk with the Lord through the process of repentance. I can honestly say that allowing God to be Lord of my life and giving Him permission to use me as a vessel to bring Him glory is one of the greatest privileges of my life. To say I have experienced God’s goodness in more than I deserve is an understatement.

In our prayer life, repentance is an important part of receiving God’s grace and forgiveness. Through repentance, we acknowledge our wrong, turn away from sin and harmful patterns, and walk in peace and freedom. Ask God to search your heart and to show you any unrepentance you may be hanging on to or have not fully acknowledged, to bring it out of the darkness and into the light. He will be gentle and loving to you as you do.

The following are some Scriptures that have helped me on my journey and encouraged me to draw nearer to God and pursue my relationship with Him through His Word and prayer. My prayer is you will find them equally encouraging and helpful.

• Psalm 25 – Encouragement for renewal and restoration
• Psalm 32 – Joy in forgiveness
• Psalm 44 – God knows our hearts
• Psalm 64 – Prayer for deliverance
• Luke 15:7
• John 10:27-29
• 2 Peter 3:9

If you have Scripture or story that has helped you in your repentance journey, please feel free to share in the comments, as it may be of encouragement to others.